


Mr. Clean.

by prompto



Category: Persona 4
Genre: Community: badx2bathhouse, Kink Meme, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-21
Updated: 2013-10-21
Packaged: 2017-12-30 02:01:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1012714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prompto/pseuds/prompto
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>De-Anon Kink Meme Fill: Dojima feels bad about sticking Souji with all the housework. He decides to pitch in one day, as a surprise. Except, he kinda doesn’t know what he’s doing, and Souji returns to a horrific sight.</p><p>As compensation, Dojima must clean it all up while Souji coaches. The catch? He has to wear a butler suit the entire time, and if he gets it dirty at all, there will be an equal…punishment♥ decided by Souji.</p><p>*Bonus if you could work in Dojima trying to collect information about cleaning beforehand— from books, strange websites, force members, while interrogating housewives, or even trying to be discreet asking Souji.<br/>*Double bonus if he mixes up the tips, or tries an advance procedure after getting confident.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mr. Clean.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first kink meme fill ever. My first time writing Dojima. Oh boy.

“I’ll take care of the cleaning today.”

“But, it’s your day off-“

“I said I’ll take care of it.” Dojima restated in a firmer tone as Souji simply nodded. “Now go out and see your friends or whatever it is you do on your days off.”

Souji nodded again while moving down the stairs completely before tugging on his shoes and saying something close to ‘be back later tonight’.

“Dad, what’re you gonna do?”

“I’m going to clean Nanako.” He looked around at the house that didn’t seem all that dirty, but…there was that strange smell in the kitchen. “I’m going to clean.”

He had to repeat himself as if he was trying to convince himself.

He’d never cleaned in his life. Well not since he was a kid, and that was years ago.

Opening the sink, he saw the cleaning supplies. The bottles almost mocking him as his eye practically twitched.

It was then he realized he hadn’t the faintest idea of which spray to use with what.

“Nanako, I’m going out. Make sure you go to the store and get some sausages before I return.”

-          *

Dojima was at a loss as he wondered the streets, his jacket slung over his shoulder in a trademark look of his. He was so suave and well-known for his status as a detective that it was easy for him to approach local housewives wondering around town doing some shopping.

“You. What do you use to clean kitchen counters?”

“Any multi-purpose cleaner is fine.” The blonde woman with her child clinging to her looked terrifed.

Dojima noted a few odd words in his notebook he normally used for taking notes on cases. As he exited the book store and headed into the general item store, he stopped another woman dead in her tracks. “What’s the best cleaner for mopping floors?”

“P-P-Pine sol. E-Everyone knows that.”

It took a while for him to get a few pages of notes down, finally getting to his last question as he questioned Kanji’s grandmother.

“What do I need to use for cleaning a toilet?”

“A toilet brush.”

The old woman looked completely baffled as the detective chewed on the tip of his pen and walked off, muttering something about Mr. Clean and how the hell did febreeze make things smell so good.

As he walked past Junes, he saw a huge sign being hung with the day’s specials. In big, bold letters there was a half-off sale for sausages. Gripping his notebook, he avoided the temptation and decided to head back home. Surely Nanako had been a good girl and gotten those sausages. Surely.

-          *

Surely she hadn’t moved an inch from her usual spot since he had left the house a few hours ago. “Nanako-GET ME SOME SAUSAGES! THEY’RE HALF OFF AT JUNES!”

“JUNES?!” Nanako was up and out the door after that, the Junes theme song being heard in quick repetition before the front door closed.

Dojima stood still for a moment, slowly opening his small notebook as he surveyed the area around him. He went to grab the massive gloves he had bought, tugging them on as he started on the first line that he had written. The kitchen.

So he could use multi-purpose cleaner on everything.

He started off simple enough; scrubbing down some of the counters with a rag that he wasn’t sure was completely clean. It didn’t seem to leave any weird smudges on the counter.

Things were going swimmingly until he started using his slightly wet gloves to trace down over the words in the notebook, the words starting to smudge together. Trying to read his already sloppy writing that was almost completely unreadable now, he slammed the spray bottle down on the counter.

“GODDAMMIT MR. CLEAN!”

He exhaled loudly.

“Just think Dojima. Nanako is going to get you sausages right now. Think of the sausages.” He went into a small moment of calming. “Now, use what you remember and clean.”

It wasn’t the most delicate of procedures, but somehow Dojima had managed to do what he needed to. He’d used all the cleaning products that he had, and the new ones he had bought, more so the Mr. Clean was completely empty by the time he declared the house to be clean.

It was around five in the evening whenever Souji returned.

“Ah you’re home.” Dojima stood up from the chair as he had been reading the paper.

“I am..how was…cleaning…” Souji managed to slip off his shoes on the rug before he took a step forward and slipped on the slick floor, falling right on his ass.

“Oh I’m sorry; I guess I should’ve put up a wet floor sign.” Dojima laughed heartily as Souji looked less than pleased.

“What..did you use for the floor?”

“For the floor? Oh lets see..I think it was that Pine Sol and Goo Gone mixed together..it’s hard to remember now.”

“…How much water did you use?”

“Oh well, the bottle called for a 1/4th of a cup but I figured since the floor is rather big I should throw a bit more in there.”

Souji didn’t say anything as he managed to barely stand up on the death trap of a floor, holding onto the counter nearby for support as he eyed the kitchen after that.

The dishes were only half-clean, covered in layers of white. The counters looked like…they had bleach stains on them. And he didn’t even want to look in the fridge. Though he had seen some very strange things that had managed to grow in there before.

“I also did the laundry for my favorite nephew. They’re all folded and ready for you to take to your room.” He motioned towards the clothes folded rather neatly on the couch.

Souji thought there might’ve at least been a saving grace to this misfortune. That was until he got a little closer and realized…the clothes smelled amazing but…there were still white stains on his boxers from…well he wasn’t going to get into that.

“…Did you actually wash these?”

“Well no I sort of just used the febreeze, since they have that commercial where you can spray anything with it and it makes it smell so good. I figured it’d save on the cost of water.” Dojima wasn’t going to mention that he had forgotten what colors to use with bleach and what he had to use to wash clothes to begin with.

Souji’s eye twitched as he hadn’t even gone upstairs yet. He didn’t want to think of what was up there.

“I…should’ve just stayed home and cleaned.”

“What-did I do something wrong-“

Feeling the frustration building from not only how horrific the house was and also his attraction to his dumbass of an uncle (that was a completely different issue), Souji turned and walked straight up to his uncle to stare at him face to face.

“I’m going to teach you how to clean.”

“You are?”

“Yes. Every member of the family should at least know how to clean properly. Don’t you agree Dojima-san?”

Dojima looked a bit miffed. Apparently he hadn’t done an accurate enough job in his cleaning. It was Mr. Clean’s fault.

“Fine. I did say I was going to clean the house, and I want it to be done right for you. What do I have to do first?”

“First, you’re going to have something else to wear while you do all of this.”

“What? What’s wrong with what I’ve got on?” His general shirt and tie was rather sexy if he thought so. He definitely wanted to be considered good-looking while doing any cleaning.

“It’s not appropriate.”

Dojima looked completely confused just as the front door was pushed open and Nanako appeared with a ton of bags on her little arms. “Dad, they had all these sausages on sale and-!”

The saw Nanako’s head bobbing above the counter for a few moments before the girl disappeared from sight as she slipped on the kitchen floor.

Dojima sighed and glared somewhat at his nephew. “Fine. Give me the outfit.”

The smirk that formed on Souji’s lips was enough to make Dojima wonder just what his nephew was into. Feeling him brush past him, he could only mutter to himself in a whisper. “Goddamn you Mr. Clean.”


End file.
